Discombobulated.

That pretty much sums up how I'm feeling.

The last week has flown by and been a whirlwind of emotions. One minute up, the next minute down.

I've spent the last two weekends with my family: aunts & uncles and cousins galore. One weekend happy, the next sad.

I've watched my aunt and uncles struggle as they watch their big family dwindle in numbers. And now there are three. In the past year, they've lost two nephews younger than them, too.

And then the call this morning. That my dad's friend lost his brave battle with the big C on Thursday. He stood up with my parents when they got married. And now he's dead at 61, just like my dad. My heart is aching for my dad's friends that are left, for my uncle who just got home from his sister's funeral, only to turn around and bury an old friend, and for me.

Because I just can't wrap my head around this anymore.